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Self Care Newsletter Vol#74 Week #4 "Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome." Brené Brown
Published 1 day ago • 9 min read
Rejuvenate & Thrive
NURTURE YOUR ESSENCE
Focus:
Choosing Softness
Is the Brave Thing
"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength."
Saint Francis de Sales
Your Weekly
Intentional & Sustainable Self-Care Newsletter
Volume #74
Choosing Softness
Is the Brave Thing
"What does softness mean to you?
Not the softness of fragility or collapse — but the kind that lives in a dropped shoulder, an unclenched jaw, a moment when you finally stop performing and simply be. When was the last time you felt that? And when you did, what eventually made you put the armor back on?
For me, softness was something I had to find my way back to. Without fully realizing it, I had become numb to myself. Not out of carelessness — out of survival. Numbness was my defense mechanism, the thing that allowed me to keep functioning when feeling everything felt like too much. I moved through my days protected, efficient, and largely unreachable — even to myself.
It was only when I began treating myself more tenderly that I understood what the armor had cost me. It had dimmed my sensuality. It had created distance between my mind, my body, and my soul — a quiet disconnection I had mistaken for strength. The critical inner voice I had carried for so long was not keeping me sharp. It was keeping me small.
As I slowly shifted my inner dialogue — from harsh and demanding to caring and honest — something began to open. I became grateful for myself in ways I hadn't before. Grateful for this body that kept showing up. Grateful for this mind that kept processing. Grateful for this soul that kept reaching, even when I gave it very little in return.
That is what softness did for me. It did not make me weaker. It made me more whole.
We live in a world that equates hardness with strength — defensiveness, rigid boundaries, and constant armor worn like a badge of honor. But I want to reframe that for you today. It takes no courage to build a wall. It takes tremendous strength to keep your heart open in a world that is constantly encouraging you to shut down.
Think about the armor you carry into ordinary moments — into work, into family gatherings, even into the grocery store. Shoulders raised. Tone sharpened. Gaze hardened. We tell ourselves it is protection. But have you noticed that the same armor keeping pain out is also keeping joy out?
Softness is not weakness. It is the clearest sign of a soul that feels secure enough not to hide. This week, we are exploring what it actually takes to be tender — and discovering that it may be the bravest thing you do."
THE STRATEGIST'S VIEW
As a strategist, I look at softness as High-Level Sustainability.
Hardness is expensive. Most people don't realize how much energy it requires to maintain until they finally put it down — and feel the relief of the weight lifting. Choosing softness is not a retreat from strength. It is a strategic decision to stop spending your most valuable resources on armor you were never meant to wear indefinitely.
Here is what I want you to consider this week:
(1) The Armor Tax: Every day you spend in full armor is a day your nervous system is paying the bill. Defensiveness, rigidity, and emotional shutdown are not neutral states — they are active expenditures. Choosing softness is how you redirect that energy toward what actually matters: your creativity, your relationships, your inner life, your growth.
(2) Vulnerability as Intelligence: Softness is not the absence of strategy — it is a strategy. When you are open, you receive information that closed people miss entirely. You sense shifts in the room. You hear what is underneath what is being said. You connect in ways that hard-walled individuals simply cannot access. Softness makes you a more perceptive, more effective, and more trusted presence — not a weaker one.
(3) The 'Safe' Softness: You do not have to be soft everywhere at once. Begin where it is safest: with yourself, in your journal, or within your most trusted circle. Softness is a practice, not a performance. You build the muscle gradually, expanding your soft spaces as your trust in yourself deepens. The goal is not to dismantle every boundary — it is to stop letting the armor make decisions your heart was meant to make.
Strength and softness are not opposites. The most sustainable version of you holds both.
CHAKRA ACTIVATION: Heart (Anahata)
Fluidity: To choose softness, we must dissolve the tension in the chest. The Heart Chakra is where we store our defensive walls.
(1) The Physical Anchor: Place both hands on your chest, palms flat. Gently spread your fingers to cover as much of your heart center as possible.
(2) The Visualization: Imagine a stream of cool, translucent emerald water pouring over your heart. It doesn't wash away your strength; it washes away the 'grit' of your armor.
(3) The Breath: Inhale slowly for 5 counts, feeling your chest expand against your palms. As you exhale for 7 counts, imagine your heart center literally 'unfolding' like a flower.
(4) The Affirmation: Whisper or think: "My softness is my sanctuary. I am safe to be tender."
(5) The Seal: Release your hands and keep your chest lifted and open.
THE INTUITION DOWNLOAD: The "Softness Experiment"
(1) Identify the Hard Point: Where in your life are you currently being 'too hard'? (e.g., An internal dialogue that criticizes you for every mistake, or a specific interaction where you hold back all emotion.)
(2) The Softened Response: How would you handle that same situation if you led with 'tender curiosity' instead of 'rigid defense'? Write down a new, softer way to approach it.
(3) The Physical Micro-Shift: Choose one physical 'armor' to drop today. (e.g., 'I will stop clenching my jaw while I work,' or 'I will soften my voice when I speak to myself.')
(4) The Commitment: Write: 'I possess the courage to be tender.'
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
"If you are the strongest person you know, why are you so afraid of being soft? What do you think would happen if you stopped being the 'rock' for everyone else and allowed yourself to be the river?"
WISDOM INSIGHT
"The rock can be broken by the hammer, but the water simply flows around it. Hardness is a brittle attempt at safety; softness is the intelligent way to endure. This Great Day, stop trying to be the rock, and start being the flow."
Be Blissful,
Dr. MoJo: Self-Care Strategist
Join Ignite Your Inner YOU Community where it starts and ends with you BECOMING Intentionally YOU! It's time to start BETTING ON YOU!
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"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."
This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice.
Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy. However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
What if softness is not what you become when your strength runs out—but what you choose when your wisdom runs deep? What if allowing yourself to be tender, to feel, to receive, to rest, to flow rather than force, is not the absence of courage—but the fullest expression of it?
This week, we are laying down the armor—not because we are surrendering, but because we are finally strong enough to stop fighting ourselves. We are choosing softness. And that, dear one, is the bravest thing.
Food For Thought:
Nourishment for Your Soul:
What Softness Feels Like in the Body
Softness in the body feels like permission. It feels like the moment you walk through the door of your own home and take off the coat you have been wearing all day—not just the outer coat, but the one you wear in your spirit, the one that says: I must hold it together, I must be strong, I must not need anything.
This week, notice where in your body you are holding hardness. Notice where you are bracing, clenching, tightening. Those places are not evidence of your strength. They are invitations—your body asking you, gently and persistently, to come back to yourself.
The Truth About Softness and Strength
We have been sold a lie about what it means to be a strong woman. The lie says: be unshakeable, be unfeeling, be relentless, be hard. The lie says that emotions are indulgent, that rest is earned, that asking for help is shameful, and that softness is something to be grown out of—a remnant of girlhood that serious, capable women leave behind.
This week, we practice the truth. And the truth is this: choosing softness is not giving up. It is growing up. It is the fullest, most courageous, most radical act of self-care you can choose.
"The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire—and the kindest hearts have the brightest flames."
Ferdinand Foch
"Softness is what makes us human; it's where love, compassion, and empathy reside."
Kristin Hannah
WISDOM FROM SPIRITUAL MOTHERS & FATHERS
Louise Hay
"You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens."
Maya Angelou
"I am convinced that courage is the most important of all the virtues. Because without courage, you cannot practice any other virtue consistently."
Iyanla Vanzant
"One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, right now, in this moment, is to decide, without apology, to be who you are."
Closing: Heart-to-Heart
Dearest one, I want you to carry something with you as you move through this week: the world does not need more women who are hard. It needs more women who are whole. And wholeness—real, deep, lasting wholeness—is built on the foundation of softness. On the willingness to feel. To receive. To be moved. To let love in and let truth out.
With deep reverence for your courage,
Your Self-Care Strategist 💕
P.S. Sweet soul, if reading this week’s volume stirred something in you—a longing, a grief, a quiet recognition of how long you have been carrying your own hardness like a shield—I want you to know that feeling is not a problem. It is a door. You do not have to walk through it all at once. You do not have to dismantle the armor today, or this week, or all at once at all. Softness, like all the most important things, is built one small, brave choice at a time. One moment of letting yourself cry instead of swallowing it. One conversation where you say what you actually need instead of what is easiest. One morning where you look in the mirror and instead of cataloguing what needs to be fixed, you simply say: hello. I see you. I am here. Start there. The rest will follow. And I will be here, cheering for every tender, courageous step.
“The most courageous thing you will ever do is bear witness to your own pain—and meet it with love."
Unknown
Join Ignite Your Inner YOU Community where it starts and ends with you BECOMING Intentionally YOU! It's time to start BETTING ON YOU!
Pricing Options:
Monthly: $20/month
Quarterly: $60/quarter
Annually: $240/year
Call-to-Action: "Don’t wait to start your journey. Click below to join Ignite Your Inner You Community!!!
"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice. Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy.
However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
Subscribe to the Intentional Self-Care newsletter and join a community of women ready to reclaim their well-being. Expect inspiring insights, actionable tips, affirmations, and transformative self-care wisdom designed to uplift, empower, and nurture your heart and soul each day.
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