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Self Care Newsletter Vol#81 Week #2 "Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you." Anne Lamott
Published 13 days ago • 10 min read
Rejuvenate & Thrive
NURTURE YOUR ESSENCE
Focus:
Can You Sit With Yourself Without Fixing Anything?
"In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to."
Dave Hollis
Your Weekly
Intentional & Sustainable Self-Care Newsletter
Volume #81
Can You Sit With Yourself Without Fixing Anything?
"Sitting with yourself is the journey of learning to sit authentically instead of running from discomfort. For most of my life, I would sit with myself, but I didn't understand the process. I didn't know the difference between unconscious sitting—where I was reacting to buried wounds without understanding them—and conscious sitting, where I could trace my emotions back to their roots and understand the connection. I noticed something interesting: when something positive happened, I let the emotions flow freely and celebrated. But when something challenged or triggered me, I would ignore it, push it down, bury it. My life was being affected by this pattern, and I was tired of not being honest with myself. I was hurting myself by living up to expectations and cultural conditioning that kept me from sitting with difficult feelings. Then I began to understand: my subconscious was trying to show me the connection between my past and what was happening in my present. I had to learn how to sit with myself first, to become the observer, and to embrace what I discovered within that sitting.
One of the ways I learned to sit with myself was the moment I stopped running from emotions when they were triggered. Instead of reaching for distractions or falling into old patterns, I would simply stay present with what was moving through me. That's when everything shifted. We are so conditioned to treat our internal world like a construction site—constantly hammering, drilling, and renovating our emotions—that we have forgotten how to simply be in the house we've built. Today, we introduce stillness not as a task to be completed, but as the highest form of presence. We stop being the architect of our emotions and start being the witness.
Think about the last time you felt a pang of sadness, anxiety, or boredom. What was the first thing you did? Did you reach for a podcast to distract you? Did you make a to-do list to keep busy? Did you analyze why you felt that way? We are addicted to the "fix." We believe that if we aren't changing our state, we are failing. But what if your emotions aren't problems to be solved, but weather patterns to be observed?"
Chakra Activation: Third Eye (Ajna) Stillness To stop fixing, we must shift from the analytical mind to the witnessing mind. The Third Eye Chakra, located between the brows, is the center of clarity and deep inner sight.
The Physical Anchor: Sit comfortably, hands resting gently on your lap. Close your eyes and focus your gaze upward toward the center of your forehead.
The Visualization: Imagine the space between your brows as a clear, indigo-colored pool of still water. There are no ripples. Nothing needs to be stirred or cleared.
The Breath: Inhale slowly for five counts, observing the breath without modifying it. Exhale for five counts, letting the body soften.
The Affirmation: Whisper or think: "I do not need to change anything to be enough right now."
The Seal: Breathe into that indigo stillness, letting the urge to "do" fade away.
The "Sit-With" Experiment:
The Trigger Identification: Identify one "minor" discomfort you feel today (boredom, slight irritation, impatience).
The 5-Minute Witness: Set a timer for five minutes. Close your eyes and just be with that feeling. Don't label it, don't justify it, don't fix it. Just notice where it lives in your body.
The Observation: After five minutes, write down: "I felt [feeling] and I survived it."
The Commitment: Write: "My presence is enough. I don't have to fix my internal world to be worthy of peace."
The Strategist's View: As a strategist, I look at the "fixation" on fixing as energy mismanagement.
Stillness as Presence, Not Performance: We often treat stillness like a workout—"I sat for 20 minutes, therefore I am good." No. Stillness is a practice of showing up for yourself, just like you would for a partner you adore.
The Intelligence of Feeling: When you sit with an uncomfortable emotion without trying to fix it, it eventually gives you the information you need. When you suppress or "fix" it, you miss the message.
The Power of the Witness: You are the one experiencing the emotion, not the emotion itself. When you realize you are the witness, the "fixer" becomes obsolete.
The Integration Protocol: True inside-out transformation requires you to stop "doing" and start "being." Before you attempt to act on a realization or change your state, integrate the stillness through these three phases:
Tap into Awareness: Bring your focus into your physical body right now. Notice the urge to "fix" your posture, your mood, or your thoughts. Acknowledge this "fixer" energy as a survival mechanism from your past—it's not needed here in the present.
Sense It and Sit With It: Do not rush to fill the silence or change how you feel. Sit right in the middle of your raw, unedited state. Let your nervous system learn that it is safe to exist without performing, achieving, or solving.
Allowing and Receiving: Stop forcing your feelings to change. Open your hands, drop your shoulders, and simply allow your current state to exist exactly as it is. Receive the wisdom hidden inside your discomfort before you ever try to give birth to a new action or a new decision.
Food for Thought: If your internal state was a house, would you be a guest who enjoys the scenery, or a landlord who is constantly trying to renovate every room? What would happen if you were simply a guest of your own soul for one hour today?
Wisdom Insight: You have spent years fixing, mending, and pleasing to earn your place in the world. But you don't need to fix yourself to belong to yourself. This day, stop constructing your peace and start inhabiting your presence.
Be Blissful,
Dr. MoJo: Self-Care Strategist
Join Ignite Your Inner YOU Community where it starts and ends with you BECOMING Intentionally YOU! It's time to start BETTING ON YOU!
Pricing Options:
Monthly: $20/month
Quarterly: $60/quarter
Annually: $240/year
Call-to-Action: "Don’t wait to start your journey. Click below to join Ignite Your Inner You Community!!!
"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."
This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice.
Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy. However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
A Sacred Welcome: The Radical Practice of Just Being
Wholeness, Beautiful Soul✨!
Most of us have become exquisitely skilled at doing. We can manage a crisis, hold a family together, drive a project forward, and hold space for everyone around us—all before noon on a Tuesday. What we have lost—quietly, gradually, under the pressure of a culture that prizes productivity above almost everything else—is the capacity to simply be. To sit. To exist without agenda. To be present with ourselves without immediately reaching for something to fix, improve, analyze, or optimize.
This week’s volume asks one of the simplest and most challenging questions a woman can face: Can you sit with yourself without fixing anything? Not the version of you that needs to be better. Not the situation that needs to be solved. Not the feeling that needs to be processed into something more manageable. Just you. Just this. Just now. No agenda. No improvement project. Simply the profound, radical, deeply countercultural act of being with yourself exactly as you are.
Food For Thought:
Nourishment for Your Soul:
Can You Sit With Yourself
Without Fixing Anything?
Here is what becomes possible when you learn to sit with yourself without fixing: you begin to actually know yourself. Not the curated version of yourself that exists in your goals and your improvement projects and the stories you tell about who you are becoming. The actual you—the one who has feelings she has not yet named, longings she has not yet honored, grief she has not yet given room, joy she has been too busy to fully receive. That self lives beneath the fixing. She is not accessible through analysis or optimization. She is only accessible through presence.
Here we pause. Not to prepare for the next thing. Not to transition into a practice. But simply to be—right here, in this space, with no agenda beyond your own honest presence. Because the soul is not nourished by more information or better strategy. It is nourished by being genuinely met. And the most profound meeting available to you is the one that happens when you finally stop the forward motion long enough to turn, with full attention and full acceptance, toward yourself.
The Wisdom in What You Have Not Fixed
Consider for a moment the things inside you that you have been trying to fix—the feelings you have been working to resolve, the parts of yourself you have been attempting to change, the aspects of your experience that you have been treating as problems requiring solutions. What if some of those things are not broken? What if some of what you have been trying to fix is actually carrying wisdom that the fixing itself has been preventing you from receiving?
Grief managed rather than felt does not disappear — it waits. Anger suppressed rather than honored does not dissipate — it builds. Longing analyzed rather than acknowledged does not resolve into clarity — it deepens into ache. When we are always fixing, we rob our inner experiences of the space they need to teach us what they came to teach.
The parts of you that you have been most urgently trying to fix may be the parts that are most urgently trying to speak to you. This week, instead of fixing them, try something different: listen to them. Not to resolve what they are saying into an action plan, but simply to hear them. To let them be present without requiring them to be gone. That is what the soul asks of you in this season—not more improvement, but more presence. Not better strategies, but deeper listening.
"The present moment is the only moment available to us, and it is the door to all moments."
Thich Nhat Hanh
"All of humanity's problems originate from the inability to sit quietly in a room alone."
Blaise Pascal
WISDOM FROM SPIRITUAL MOTHERS & FATHERS
Louise Hay:
"I am in the process of positive change. I deserve to take time to just be. All is well."
Maya Angelou:
"Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for. Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.
"Iyanla Vanzant:
"The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind."
Closing: Heart-to-Heart
Dearest one, you have been improving yourself for long enough. You have been working on yourself, growing yourself, optimizing and correcting and becoming—and that work has its place and its value. But this week offered you something different: the experience of being with yourself not as a project but as a person, and discovering that the woman who lives beneath all that striving is not a disappointment. She is not a work in progress in the sense of being unacceptable in her current form. She is whole, complex, worthy of her own witness, and in profound need of your simple, faithful, agenda-free presence.
You are exactly where you need to be, and sitting with yourself in love is the most powerful thing you will do all week.
With deepest respect for your wholeness,
Your Self-Care Strategist 💕
P.S. Sweet soul, if sitting with yourself this week brought up more discomfort than peace—if the silence felt heavy or the stillness stirred things you were not expecting—please know that is not failure. That is exactly what this practice is for. The things that surface when we stop fixing are the things that most need our gentle, loving presence. You do not have to resolve them. You do not have to turn them into lessons or action plans or growth opportunities. You just have to let them be witnessed by the most important witness in your life: you. That witnessing, offered with compassion and without agenda, is one of the most healing gifts you will ever give yourself. Keep sitting. Keep staying. You are doing something profound.
“Within you there is a stillness and a sanctuary to which you can retreat at any time and be yourself.”
Hermann Hesse
Join Ignite Your Inner YOU Community where it starts and ends with you BECOMING Intentionally YOU! It's time to start BETTING ON YOU!
Pricing Options:
Monthly: $20/month
Quarterly: $60/quarter
Annually: $240/year
Call-to-Action: "Don’t wait to start your journey. Click below to join Ignite Your Inner You Community!!!
"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice. Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy.
However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
Subscribe to the Intentional Self-Care newsletter and join a community of women ready to reclaim their well-being. Expect inspiring insights, actionable tips, affirmations, and transformative self-care wisdom designed to uplift, empower, and nurture your heart and soul each day.
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