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Self Care Newsletter Vol#85 Week #2 "The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud." Coco Chanel Inbox
Published about 13 hours ago • 11 min read
Rejuvenate & Thrive
NURTURE YOUR ESSENCE
Focus:
Stop Asking
“What Should I Do?”
"Intuition is the whisper of the soul."
Jiddu Krishnamurti
Your Weekly
Intentional & Sustainable Self-Care Newsletter
Volume #85
Stop Asking
“What Should I Do?”
"Who do you consult about your concerns? Your partner, best friend, a counselor, or self-help material? The word "should" is powerful—it pushes you to seek answers outside yourself before looking within. But you never actually check your own first instinct. You've already decided to trust someone else's answer more than your own wisdom.
When we ask "What should I do?" we go on autopilot and stop listening to our internal voice. I used to always look to others for answers because I didn't trust myself. Truthfully, I didn't want to trust myself—I was hiding from my own life. That question became a mask I wore to avoid having a real relationship with myself.
Everything changed when I stopped liking who I was becoming—the resentment, the emptiness. I finally understood: no one was there for me because I wasn't there for myself. That's when I learned the truth in those sayings. The longest relationship you'll ever have is with yourself, and it's the foundation for every other relationship.
How many times this week have you asked someone—or yourself—"What should I do?" We ask it when we're stressed, when we're stuck, when we're trying to make a choice. But every time you ask "What should I do?" you are handing the steering wheel of your life to an invisible committee of opinions, conditioning, and peer pressure. Today, we slash the tires of the "should" bus. We are moving from external compliance to internal clarity.
Whenever we hit a wall, feel overwhelmed, or lose our footing, our default question is always a frantic plea: "What should I do?" We look outward, poll our friends, search the internet, or comb through self-help books looking for an instruction manual for our lives. But "should" is a prison built by external expectations. It assumes you are a problem that needs solving by someone else's rules.
As your strategist, I'm here to help you trade the disempowering question of "What should I do?" for deeper, more honest inquiries: "What am I feeling, avoiding, carrying, or needing?" Stillness is not another task to complete on your checklist; it is the presence required to finally hear your own answers. We stop outsourcing our direction and start excavating our truth."
Chakra Activation: Solar Plexus (Manipura) Authority To stop asking what you "should" do, you must reconnect with your personal power center. The Solar Plexus Chakra, located right at your upper abdomen, is the seat of your inner authority, intuition, and self-trust.
The Physical Anchor: Sit upright, drop your shoulders, and place both palms flat on your upper stomach, right below your ribcage.
The Visualization: Imagine a warm, radiant golden-yellow sun expanding behind your hands. This is your personal power—untouched by anyone else's expectations.
The Breath: Inhale deeply for four counts, pulling that golden warmth through your center. Exhale slowly for six counts, whispering internally: "I am my own authority."
The Affirmation: Whisper or think: "I release what I 'should' do and honor what I actually need."
The Seal: Press your hands gently into your center, sealing your personal sovereignty for this day.
The Strategist's View: As a strategist, I look at the word "should" as foreign currency. Strategic shifts for this beautiful rising:
The Anatomy of "Should": Every time you say "I should do this," you are acknowledging a split inside yourself. You have your authentic self on one side, and an external expectation on the other. Guess which one usually wins? The expectation—until burnout forces you to stop.
The Four Deeper Questions: Instead of asking "What should I do?", replace it with the strategic quartet:
What am I feeling right now? (Name the physical or emotional data without editing it.)
What am I avoiding? (Identify the hard truth or emotion you are running from.)
What am I carrying? (Acknowledge the heavy weights, responsibilities, or stories that aren't even yours to bear.)
What am I needing? (Ground yourself in your actual, present-moment requirements.)
Stillness as Presence, Not Performance: Remember, stillness is not another task to complete. You don't sit in silence to earn a grade; you sit so you can hear the answers to these four deeper questions underneath the noise of the world.
The "Re-Framing" Protocol:
Catch the "Should": Write down one current dilemma or task where you've been caught in the loop of "What should I do?"
Run the Four Questions: Answer these four prompts regarding that dilemma:
Right now, I am feeling...
What I am trying to avoid is...
The weight I am carrying that isn't mine is...
What I actually need in this moment is...
The New Direction: Based on your answers to those four questions, write down your actual next step—not what anyone else expects.
The Commitment: Write: "My truth is my compass. I choose clarity over compliance."
The Integration Protocol: True strategic transformation requires an internal settling. Before you attempt to act on a new realization or build a new habit out of this session, integrate the shift away from "should" through these three phases:
Tap into Awareness: Bring your focus completely into your physical body right now. Notice where you've been letting external "shoulds" dictate your physical tension, your posture, or your breathing. Acknowledge that conditioning without judgment.
Sense It and Sit With It: Do not rush to find an immediate solution or fill the quiet with a new plan. Sit right in the middle of your authentic state. Let your nervous system experience what it feels like to drop the performance of compliance and just be with your own reality.
Allowing and Receiving: Stop forcing answers or hunting for outside validation. Open your hands, drop your shoulders, and simply allow your deeper inner wisdom to rise to the surface. Receive the clarity of what you are actually feeling, avoiding, carrying, and needing before you ever try to give birth to a new action, a new boundary, or a new decision.
Food for Thought: If you completely banned the word "should" from your vocabulary for the next thirty days, how much of your current schedule would instantly collapse, and how much peace would take its place?
Wisdom Insight: You don't need a manual to tell you how to live your life; you need the courage to ask yourself what you actually need. This day, stop asking what you should do and start honoring who you actually are.
Be Blissful,
Dr. MoJo: Self-Care Strategist
Join Ignite Your Inner YOU Community where it starts and ends with you BECOMING Intentionally YOU! It's time to start BETTING ON YOU!
Pricing Options:
Monthly: $20/month
Quarterly: $60/quarter
Annually: $240/year
Call-to-Action: "Don’t wait to start your journey. Click below to join Ignite Your Inner You Community!!!
"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."
This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice.
Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy. However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
A Sacred Welcome: The Answer Was Always Inside You
Wholeness, Beautiful Soul✨!
How many times today have you looked outside yourself for the answer to something only you can know? How many texts sent, opinions sought, searches scrolled, and experts consulted before you sat quietly enough to ask the one voice that has never once been wrong about your life: your own?
We live in a world drowning in advice. There is a podcast for every question, an influencer for every crossroad, a comment section full of strangers eager to tell you what you should do, who you should be, and which version of yourself is the correct one. And somewhere in all that noise, the habit of outsourcing your knowing has become so deeply ingrained that many women have stopped trusting—or even hearing—the most qualified voice available to them.
This week’s volume is a direct, loving, uncompromising invitation to stop. Stop asking the world what you should do. Stop waiting for consensus before you trust yourself. Stop treating your own wisdom as the last resort after every other source has been exhausted. Your inner knowing is not a backup plan. It is the plan. And this week, we come back to it—fully, fiercely, and without apology.
You already know.
You have always known.
This week, we stop pretending otherwise.
Food For Thought:
Nourishment for Your Soul:
Stop Asking “What Should I Do?”
Notice the next time you are about to ask someone else what you should do—and before you ask, pause long enough to answer a different question: What do I already know about this?
Sit with that for a moment. Because the truth, for most women in most situations, is that the knowing is already there. It was there before you opened the text thread. Before you posted the question to the group chat. Before you scrolled for forty-five minutes hoping an article would tell you what your gut has already been quietly, persistently saying. The knowing is often the first thing that arose—before the doubt, before the second-guessing, before the chorus of other people’s voices layered in and made everything complicated. The first knowing, the one that came before the noise, is almost always the truest.
Stopping the habit of “what should I do?” is not about becoming closed to other perspectives or refusing to seek wisdom from people you trust. It is about changing the sequence. Go inward first. Ask yourself before you ask anyone else. Get your own answer clearly in hand before you subject it to the influence of other voices. Then, if you choose to seek outside input, you can receive it from a place of groundedness rather than a place of dependency—you can evaluate other perspectives against your own knowing rather than using other perspectives to replace it.
What It Means to Know
Knowing, in the deepest sense, is not always a clear verbal thought. It is often a felt sense—a quality of recognition in the body that arrives before the words do. The contraction in the chest when something is wrong. The expansion and ease when something is right. The recurring thought that keeps surfacing no matter how many times you push it down. The dream that carries the message your waking mind keeps dismissing. Queen Afua teaches that the woman’s body is a sacred vessel of wisdom—that the physical sensations, the cycles, the energetic responses of the body are not inconveniences to be managed but messages to be received. Your body knows. Your body has always known. Part of reclaiming your inner authority is learning to read its language—and to trust what it tells you even when the outside world has not yet confirmed it.
Sit quietly with this: What is one situation in your life right now where you have been asking everyone else what you should do—and if you are completely honest, you already know the answer? What would it mean to trust that knowing enough to act on it?
You do not have to act today. But let yourself know what you know. That is the beginning of everything.
"You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself."
Alan Alda
"Nothing can dim the light that shines from within."
Maya Angelou
WISDOM FROM SPIRITUAL MOTHERS & FATHERS
Louise Hay:
"I trust my inner wisdom. I know that all the answers to all the questions I shall ever ask are within me. I am connected to universal wisdom and I always know what to do.
"Maya Angelou:
"I respect myself and insist upon it from others. A child who is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth—and a woman who does not trust herself will burn her own life seeking permission elsewhere.
"Queen Afua:
"The woman who listens to her body listens to the universe. She carries within her womb space all the wisdom she will ever need. Go within. The answers are already there.
"Iyanla Vanzant:
"Stop asking people who have never been where you are going for directions. Go within. Your soul has a GPS that never loses signal."
Closing: Heart-to-Heart
Dearest one, the most important voice in your life is the one that has been with you from the very beginning—the one that knows your full history, your deepest values, the texture of your specific longings, and the truth of what your soul came here to do. That voice is not loud. It does not compete for airtime. But it is unfailingly honest, and it is available to you in every single moment you are willing to get quiet enough to hear it.
Stop asking the world what you should do. Start asking yourself. Then trust—even when the answer is inconvenient, even when no one else confirms it, even when acting on it requires more courage than you think you have. That courage is already inside you. So is the answer. So, always, is the way.
You are exactly where you need to be, and you already know everything you need to know to take the next step.
With unshakeable belief in your inner authority,
Your Self-Care Strategist 💕
P.S. Sweet soul, if this week surfaced the uncomfortable recognition that you have been living a significant portion of your life by other people’s directions—please receive that awareness as the gift it is, not the indictment it is not. You did not outsource your authority because you were weak. You did it because it felt safer, because it was modeled, because the cost of trusting yourself and being wrong once felt too high to risk again. That makes complete sense. And it is also no longer the whole story. Because right now, in this moment, you are choosing something different. You are choosing to come home to yourself. To listen inward. To trust the voice that has never once not known your truth. Start with one small knowing today. Honor it. Build from there. Your inner authority is not gone—it has simply been waiting, patiently and without judgment, for you to come back.
“Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.”
Benjamin Spock
Join Ignite Your Inner YOU Community where it starts and ends with you BECOMING Intentionally YOU! It's time to start BETTING ON YOU!
Pricing Options:
Monthly: $20/month
Quarterly: $60/quarter
Annually: $240/year
Call-to-Action: "Don’t wait to start your journey. Click below to join Ignite Your Inner You Community!!!
"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice. Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy.
However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
Subscribe to the Intentional Self-Care newsletter and join a community of women ready to reclaim their well-being. Expect inspiring insights, actionable tips, affirmations, and transformative self-care wisdom designed to uplift, empower, and nurture your heart and soul each day.
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