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Self Care Newsletter Vol#78 Week #3 "The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself." Steve Maraboli
Published 5 days ago • 9 min read
Rejuvenate & Thrive
NURTURE YOUR ESSENCE
Focus:
Self-Care Is a Relationship, Not a Routine
"You cannot be lonely if you like the person you’re alone with."
Wayne Dyer
Your Weekly
Intentional & Sustainable Self-Care Newsletter
Volume #78
Self-Care Is a Relationship, Not a Routine
"We have all types of relationships: financial, manipulative, controlling, and loving, among others. But here's what I've learned: every single one of them stems from the relationship you have with yourself—or the lack thereof. The relationship we have with ourselves is the longest relationship we will ever have, and it becomes the foundation for how we connect with and interact in all our other relationships: romantic, friendships, and work. My own understanding of relationships was skewed because I witnessed love, care, and abuse within my family. Although I was not directly abused, my behavior changed in response—I became introverted, hiding from life and my experiences. I learned to be quiet because silence felt like safety.
Building a genuine relationship with myself through self-care is what really saved my life. I started asking myself hard questions, going on dates alone, doing mirror work, and completely changing my self-talk dialogue. I was doing all these things, but one day I realized something important: I wasn't fully present in any of it. I was still going through the motions, still disconnected from myself. That's when I understood that true self-care isn't about the actions themselves—it's about showing up fully, with presence and intention. I could no longer afford to just check boxes in my life. So I made a commitment: to be fully present with myself, no matter where I was or what I was doing.
How often have you treated your body and soul like a checklist? You can feel the disconnect. Self-care isn't a task list; it's a conversation. It's checking in with yourself and asking, "What do you actually need in this moment?"—not "What did the article say I should do?"
Chakra Activation: Heart (Anahata) Connection A relationship requires presence. The Heart Chakra is the center of love and connection. If your self-care isn't rooted in your heart, it will always feel like labor.
The Physical Anchor: Place your hands over your heart. Feel the warmth of your palms against your skin.
The Visualization: Imagine a soft, glowing pink light emanating from your heart. This light represents the "care" part of self-care.
The Breath: Inhale slowly for five counts, feeling that pink light expand to fill your entire body. Exhale for five counts, releasing any "shoulds" or "have-to's."
The Affirmation: Whisper or think: "I am in a committed, loving relationship with myself."
The Seal: Gently pat your chest twice to acknowledge this bond for this day.
The Strategist's View: As a strategist, I look at self-care as relationship management. Strategic shifts for this beautiful rising:
The "Routine" vs. "Relationship" Distinction: A routine is rigid and ignores your changing needs. A relationship is dynamic—it adapts to your energy, your mood, and your life cycle. If you feel tired, a "routine" demands you push through; a "relationship" asks, "How can I support you right now?"
The Daily Check-In: Treat yourself like a valued partner. Ask, "How are you today?" and listen for the answer before you start your day.
The Feedback Loop: If a practice isn't making you feel more connected to yourself, change it! You don't keep a partner who doesn't respect your boundaries; don't keep a "routine" that doesn't respect your soul.
The "Needs-Based" Pivot:
The "Should" Identification: Write down one thing you do for "self-care" that feels like a chore (e.g., "I feel like I have to run for 30 minutes").
The Needs-Based Swap: Ask yourself, "What does my body actually need right now?" If you're exhausted, maybe the swap is "I will do five minutes of gentle stretching" instead of the run.
The Conversation: Write a two-sentence note to yourself acknowledging why you are making this change (e.g., "I am choosing rest today because I value our long-term wellness over a short-term sweat session").
The Commitment: Write: "I prioritize our relationship above my schedule."
Food for Thought: If you treated your best friend with the same rigidity and lack of empathy that you treat yourself during your "self-care routine," would they still be in your life? Why is your relationship with yourself the one you feel entitled to neglect?
Wisdom Insight: Self-care is not a maintenance task for a machine; it is the courtship of your own soul. The quality of your life will never exceed the quality of the relationship you have with yourself. This day, stop managing yourself and start loving yourself.
Be Blissful,
Dr. MoJo: Self-Care Strategist
Join Ignite Your Inner YOU Community where it starts and ends with you BECOMING Intentionally YOU! It's time to start BETTING ON YOU!
Pricing Options:
Monthly: $20/month
Quarterly: $60/quarter
Annually: $240/year
Call-to-Action: "Don’t wait to start your journey. Click below to join Ignite Your Inner You Community!!!
"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."
This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice.
Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy. However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
Let me ask you something honest: How is your relationship with yourself right now? Not your routine—your relationship. Not the checklist of healthy habits you may or may not be keeping up with. Not the rising schedule you built in January that fell apart by February. Your actual, living, breathing relationship with the woman you are, the woman you are becoming, and the woman who needs your attention, your compassion, and your consistent presence to truly thrive.
Because self-care was never meant to be a routine. Routines are things you do whether or not you are present for them. But a relationship—a real, reciprocal, living relationship—requires something deeper. It requires attention. It requires showing up differently in different seasons. That is what self-care actually is. It is the relationship you have with yourself. And this week, we are tending to it.
Food For Thought:
Nourishment for Your Soul:
Self-Care Is a Relationship,
Not a Routine
Every relationship has a quality—a tone, a texture, a feeling that characterizes how it operates day to day. Some relationships are warm and safe: places where you can be fully yourself, where your needs are taken seriously, where you feel genuinely seen and genuinely loved. Others are exhausting or conditional: places where you have to perform to be accepted, where your needs consistently come last, where love is something you earn rather than something you receive freely.
Because the quality of your relationship with yourself determines the quality of your inner life—and your inner life is the foundation from which everything else in your world is built. This week, we are looking at the foundation. And we are willing to tend to what we find there with honesty and with love.
The Seasons of the Relationship
One of the most liberating truths about understanding self-care as a relationship rather than a routine is this: relationships have seasons. They ebb and flow. They go through periods of closeness and periods of distance, periods of abundance and periods of drought. They are not linear. They do not look the same every day, every month, or every year of life.
The way you need to tend to yourself in a period of transition is different from how you tend to yourself in a period of stability. What nourishes you in summer—literally and metaphorically—may not be what nourishes you in winter. A routine does not know this. A routine does the same thing regardless of what season you are in. But a relationship does.
This week, ask yourself that question with genuine curiosity. What season are you in? What does this season need from you, for you? And what would it mean to tend to yourself with the care and attentiveness that this season—the real one, not the ideal one—actually calls for?
"Loving yourself is the greatest revolution."
Unknown
"The relationship with yourself sets the tone for every
other relationship you have."
Unknown
WISDOM FROM SPIRITUAL MOTHERS & FATHERS
Louise Hay
"Love is the great miracle cure. Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives."
Maya Angelou
"I don’t trust people who don’t love themselves and tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt."
Iyanla Vanzant
"The most important relationship in your life is the relationship you have with yourself. Because no matter what happens, you will always be with yourself."
Closing: Heart-to-Heart
Dearest one, here is the truth I want to leave with you at the end of this volume: the self-care routines you have tried and abandoned are not evidence of your failure. They are evidence of a misdiagnosis. The problem was never your discipline or your commitment or your ability to follow through. The problem was that you were trying to maintain a routine when what you actually needed—what you have always needed—was a relationship.
You are exactly where you need to be, and the relationship with yourself is the most sacred one you will ever tend. Tend to it well.
With deep dedication to the relationship you deserve to have with yourself,
Your Self-Care Strategist 💕
P.S. Sweet soul, if you read this volume and felt the particular ache of someone who recognizes how long she has been in a neglectful relationship with herself—not because she is a bad person, but because she has simply been so focused on every other relationship that this one got the scraps—please let that recognition be not a source of shame but a turning point. You are not behind. You have not failed. You have simply been operating under a misunderstanding: that self-care was something you did when everything else was handled, rather than the foundation from which you handle everything. That misunderstanding ends today—not with a dramatic overhaul, not with a perfect new routine, but with one small, genuine act of showing up for yourself. One moment of checking in instead of checking off. One moment of returning to yourself after an absence and saying, quietly and without drama: I am here. I see you. What do you need? That moment—that single, faithful, imperfect moment of relational self-care—is where everything changes. Begin there. I am here, and I believe in the relationship you are building with the most important person in your life: yourself.
“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.”
Oscar Wilde
Join Ignite Your Inner YOU Community where it starts and ends with you BECOMING Intentionally YOU! It's time to start BETTING ON YOU!
Pricing Options:
Monthly: $20/month
Quarterly: $60/quarter
Annually: $240/year
Call-to-Action: "Don’t wait to start your journey. Click below to join Ignite Your Inner You Community!!!
"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice. Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy.
However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
Subscribe to the Intentional Self-Care newsletter and join a community of women ready to reclaim their well-being. Expect inspiring insights, actionable tips, affirmations, and transformative self-care wisdom designed to uplift, empower, and nurture your heart and soul each day.
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