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Self Care Newsletter Vol#56 Week #3 "Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner." Lao Tzu
Published 27 days ago • 7 min read
Rejuvenate & Thrive
NURTURE YOUR ESSENCE
Focus:
Permission To Stop Pleasing
"When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself."
Paulo Coelho
Your Weekly
Intentional & Sustainable Self-Care Newsletter
Volume #56
Permission To Stop Pleasing
"Before I knew there was a term called "people pleasing," I was already one of the unsolicited spokeswomen. My autopilot response—"YES"—had gotten so well-known that I had proxies volunteering me to pick up, drop off, and shuttle people to the airport. As I review my recovery from people pleasing, I've identified that Captain Save-a-Lot, Driving Miss Daisy, Going Along To Get Along, and Autopilot Yes are all parts of the People Pleasing Family.
In my past, I really did not want to become an adult because in my observations, "adulting" was not anything I was rushing to become. To me, adults had too many responsibilities to manage, and taking care of themselves was always at the bottom of the totem pole. Normally, grown-ups are taking care of everyone else and have to be sat down to be still, to address that immediate concern—never addressing the weeks, months, and years of neglecting their own well-being.
We are learning to stop living for the applause of others and start living for the peace within ourselves. People-pleasing isn't kindness; it's a survival strategy we've outgrown. Every time you say "yes" to someone else when your soul is screaming "no," you are abandoning yourself. Give yourself the ultimate permission slip: the right to be misunderstood, the right to say no, and the right to prioritize your own well-being without apology.
Let's activate the Throat Chakra (Vishuddha), whose color is sky-blue. Sit up tall and gently tilt your chin up slightly toward the sky. Imagine a bright, vibrating sky-blue light at the base of your throat. This light represents your honest voice. Take a deep breath in through your nose. As you exhale, let out a gentle, low "hum" or a "sigh." Feel the vibration in your throat. Repeat internally or out loud: "My truth is a requirement, not an inconvenience. My 'No' protects my 'Yes.'" Swallow once, feeling the throat clear, and prepare to speak your truth.
As a self-care strategist, I want us to look at the "Pleasing ROI" (Return on Investment). Usually, the ROI on people-pleasing is high exhaustion and low self-respect. Here are some strategic truths: 1. Pleasing is manipulation—when we "please" people just to keep them from being mad at us, we aren't being kind; we are trying to control their perception of us. Authenticity is cleaner than manipulation. 2. The "pause" is your power—most people-pleasers react instantly. The strategy is to install a 24-hour buffer: "Let me check my capacity and get back to you." 3. Disappointing others is a skill—if you've never disappointed anyone, you probably aren't living your own life. Start small. Let someone be a little annoyed so you can be a lot more at peace.
Remember: you are not a vending machine; you do not owe everyone a "selection" of yourself just because they pressed a button. Say "no" to something small—a grocery store upsell, a minor request. Practice the muscle so it's strong when you need it for the big things."
Be Blissful,
Dr. MoJo: Self-Care Strategist
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"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."
This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice.
Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy. However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
Welcome to this sacred space where your worth is no longer measured by others' comfort. This week, we're exploring the liberating practice of releasing people-pleasing—letting go of the exhausting need to gain approval, make everyone happy, and contort yourself to fit others' expectations. You are not here to please everyone—you're here to honor yourself, and it's time to give yourself permission to stop pleasing.
Food For Thought:
Nourishment for Your Soul: The Cost of Constant Pleasing
Who would you be if you stopped trying to please everyone? What would you say, do, pursue, or become if you weren't constantly monitoring others' reactions and adjusting yourself to gain approval? What parts of yourself have you suppressed, hidden, or denied in the name of keeping others comfortable?
Consider this: Every time you abandon yourself to please someone else, you're sending yourself a message: "Your needs don't matter. Your truth doesn't count. Your comfort is less important than theirs." After years of this messaging, is it any wonder you've lost touch with who you really are and what you actually want?
The Freedom of Authenticity
There's a prison many women live in without realizing it—the prison of people-pleasing. We smile when we want to scream. We say yes when we mean no. We shrink ourselves to make others comfortable. We hide our opinions to avoid conflict. We sacrifice our needs to maintain peace. We perform versions of ourselves to gain approval. And slowly, we lose ourselves in the endless attempt to keep everyone else happy while our own souls starve for authenticity.
Stopping people-pleasing means: saying no without apology or over-explanation, prioritizing your needs alongside others' needs, speaking your truth even when it creates tension, allowing others to be disappointed in you, releasing responsibility for others' emotions, showing up authentically rather than performing, choosing alignment over approval, and understanding that you cannot control others' reactions, only your own integrity.
"I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is: Try to please everybody."
Herbert Bayard Swope
Honoring Your Inner Peace
WISDOM FROM SPIRITUAL MOTHERS & FATHERS
Louise Hay:
"It's only a thought, and a thought can be changed. I am not limited by any past thinking."
Maya Angelou:
"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them."
Iyanla Vanzant:
"Comparison is an act of violence against the self."
Closing: Heart-to-Heart
Dearest one, remember that releasing people-pleasing is not about becoming selfish, rude, or uncaring—it's about becoming authentic, boundaried, and self-honoring. Just as you cannot pour from an empty cup, you cannot build genuine relationships from a false self. The people who truly love you want to know the real you, not the version of you that's exhausted from performing.
With celebration of your authentic emergence,
Your Self-Care Strategist 💕
P.S. Beautiful soul, if you're reading this terrified of what will happen when you stop pleasing, please breathe into your heart. The fear is real and valid—you've probably been pleasing for protection for a long time. But here's the truth: the people who truly love you want you happy and authentic, not exhausted and fake. And the people who only value your pleasing don't actually love you—they love what you do for them. Yes, some relationships will shift or end when you stop people-pleasing. But these were relationships where you had to abandon yourself to maintain them—were they really worth keeping? Start with one tiny authentic choice today. Don't announce you're changing everything—just practice one small no, one honest preference, one moment of choosing yourself. Build slowly. You don't have to transform overnight. You just have to start honoring yourself, one choice at a time.
"The moment you stop trying to become a good person or a bad person and instead just try to become your authentic self, you begin to live."
Unknown
Join Ignite Your Inner YOU Community where it starts and ends with you BECOMING Intentionally YOU! It's time to start BETTING ON YOU!
Pricing Options:
Monthly: $20/month
Quarterly: $60/quarter
Annually: $240/year
Call-to-Action: "Don’t wait to start your journey. Click below to join Ignite Your Inner You Community!!!
"Your Healthy MoJo~Self-Care Strategist: The Chakra Series."This essential collection, created by Dr. MoJo, guides you through a profound journey of self-discovery and energetic alignment, spanning from the grounding Earth Star and Root to the divine connection of the Crown Chakra.
Each of the eight energy centers (Earth Star, Root, Sacral, Solar Plexus, Heart, Throat, Third Eye, and Crown) is addressed with its own dedicated, transformative recording paired with an in-depth eBook to solidify your understanding and practice. Individually, each Chakra recording and eBook bundle is available for $25.00, offering a powerful, focused self-care strategy.
However, when you purchase two or more Chakra bundles, the price drops to just $20.00 each. Start your personalized healing journey today and feel the difference of a balanced, vibrant self.
Subscribe to the Intentional Self-Care newsletter and join a community of women ready to reclaim their well-being. Expect inspiring insights, actionable tips, affirmations, and transformative self-care wisdom designed to uplift, empower, and nurture your heart and soul each day.
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